Day One
Dear ex boyfriend,
When I said I was gonna do this, I realized that I was ready. And that I have moved on. It was your birthday yesterday, and no, I did not greet you. I know that was a relief for you. I hope your day went well, I am saying that because I have no more hatred and bitter feelings left for you. Life moves on and I guess I have come to the point where it doesn’t hurt anymore. I never thought I’d reach it, but I have and it feels… normal.
I don’t feel like I need you to exist anymore. Maybe I never did and I was just overwhelmed with the fantasy and the excitement of what we had before. I know you hate me. I know you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I hope just hope someday, you will also come to that point where the only thing that’s left is memories. No more what-if’s, no more could-have-been’s, no more hate, anger and despise.
It wasn’t exactly a fairy tale. Yeah we had good times, a lot of them too. But like any other couple we had bad times. I guess we weren’t strong enough to deal with them. I can’t tell you nothing else but thank you. You made me realize that I should love myself the most before anything else. I learned how to stand up for myself when people try to push me down. I won’t jot them all down. But I just want you to know that I am thankful that you came into my life. And having regrets will just mess the future because if i have them, I would always look back to the past and think of what could have if this or that happened. And that would never do me any good because I can never move forward if I keep on dwelling in the past.
I think we could be friends. We were friends before. I think we were both unready for commitment so it just messed us up. One day, we will meet and realize that we were both just immature people trying to find love. And when that day comes, we’ll be laughing our asses off.
I will be honest, I miss you. But it doesn’t mean that I would, by all means, do everything to be with you. I believe that our relationship made me grow as a person. And I’m not saying it’s a shame, but it’s unfortunate that we have to grow apart. I found a way to be happy without you. I’ve moved on. I wish that you would one day be able to do the same.
I can’t believe how relieving writing this feels.
Til next time,
Graxxie
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